Today has been a terrific Twitter day.

…and by ‘today’ I guess I mean ‘yesterday’ or ‘Saturday.’ Are you one of those sticklers? As far as I’m concerned, the day begins and ends with my consciousness.


My love for Twitter cannot be contained. It’s the only platform that gives us regular people direct access to celebrities or pseudo-celebrities or personal celebrities or people who aren’t celebrities but kind of have cult status in certain circles. Some writers I know, for instance, are jealous because I am basically Twitter friends with the poet D.A. Powell. And sometimes I flirt inappropriately with former reality show contestants. Whatever; I’m harmless.

But today Twitter was exceptionally good to me. First, the gay porn star and essayist Conner Habib started following the Indiana Review, whose account I manage. I’m not, like, a ‘fan’ or anything, but it’s neat. Do porn stars follow other literary journals? I think not, and I got so excited that I tweeted this to him. Though he hasn’t responded, he has favorited the tweet, and I’m hopeful we’ll see a story from him in the VIP slush.

AND THEN SOMETHING BETTER: Twitter does this annoying thing where it suggests that you follow certain people (based on algorithms?), but today it told me to follow Whoopi Goldberg, and I’ve basically been in love with Whoopi for years, so I did. And then I was thinking about why I love Whoopi, and it’s largely to do with her portrayal of Guinan on Star Trek: The Next Generation, my most favoritest show ever from my childhood. If you don’t know who that is…basically, she’s the wisest, most badass bartender in the history of television (and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees). But there’s a lot of mystery surrounding her origins, her position in Star Trek lore, and why Q (an omnipotent being) is frightened of her. So I thought, hey, now I can see if Whoopi knows.

But the thing about Twitter is that the bigger a celebrity you are, the more you’re getting tweeted at and the less time you have to respond. So…I didn’t think I’d ever hear back.

…you know where this is going. WHOOPI ANSWERED MY QUESTION AN HOUR LATER AND CONFIRMED GUINAN’S BADASSNESS. I was so excited I basically couldn’t breathe, and I am unashamed. My friend Jeannie understands the importance.

Which just leaves me wondering why you don’t have a Twitter yet.


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